Pfffffft

Very tired today. Sleep doesn't seem to be my friend at the moment. Lots of things coming up. Wedding, standup set, few gigs, Film Tube, book stuff. Really don't feel like writing today. Later maybe. Wonder if it will rain again today?

Some Words In Regard To "Demise Of Green People, Demise Of Spiritual Honesty"

This speel is in reference to a blog post I wrote on the 7/6/11, and is for a few people. I would post it to you directly but I have no idea who you are.

Ok, I'm not sure whether this is the wisest thing to do or not, but since it was my words on here which caused harm perhaps these following ones should be posted here as well.

What I expressed in the "Demise Of Green People, Demise Of Spiritual Honesty" is not an expression of ridicule or negativity towards protestants, the faith or the people that were at the said ceremony. Infact everyone there was heart warming, including the person leading the congregation.

I was surprised at my own feelings during the ceremony in question, and the two elements I mentioned really made me question allot of things, not however the meaning of the ceremony. The fact though I "wished" for a draconian cult leader as well as posting a picture of Robert Mitchum's Harry Powell from Night of the Hunter (a fake preacher, con artist and murderer) would put across the fact I have no idea what I would have preferred instead.

Still, I realise my words have brought sadness to some people and difficulties for which I am truly sorry. What I write and draw is exaggerated, the line between making a point using half fiction and real life is one I walk with these words and images... and in this case I have well and truly tripped over that line. This incident has really made me consider that further, and that fact will stick with me the rest of my life.

This message will not undo any damage, but I still thought it best to write these words.

What A Lovely Day

Today was a lovely day. The sun shined. Sandbar got lovely golden chairs. They are so nice. I talked to some people. They were funny and made me smile. They are so lovely.

I had a lemonade today. That was lovely too. I had two, but don't tell anyone! LOL

I drew some pictures. One was a ball. It was red. I like red. It is lovely.

I feel very happy today, I can't wait to see if tomorrow is lovely too. I might even go to bed right now so it comes quicker!

Bye, bye!

The Perils Of Blogging

Who the hell reads this anyhow?

Demise Of Green People, Demise Of Spiritual Honesty

The dancers had tapped their twinkle toes across the floor for the last time, the poets had rambled their last twisted story, the video artists had exhibited their last explosion of imagery... the greenroom closes it's doors for the last time.

Greenroom, for those who are aren't familiar with Manchester or the venue in question, is... or rather was... a theatre which showcased a range of conceptual performances, video art and workshops. However, with the cuts to the Art Council, greenroom received no funding resulting in where I found myself on Saturday... the Big Fat End Party.

Bulging to capacity, greenroom was rammed with artists, media types and anyone who had some connection to it over it's 28 year history. There was booze, anecdotes and speeches with an army of brave smiles in the background.

Attempting to make my way through the crowds whilst responding to artists requests for information / beratings for not getting back to them it was hard not to reflect on a space which had shaped me for nearly a decade. Greenroom had been the first place I had exhibited, the first place I showed one of my films, the first theatre I had performed in, the first theatre show I had hosted.

Many there were probably feeling the same sentiment, and each of us were probably trying to find strength in the thought we will make sure it's not the last time we fumble through those actions. Goodbye greenroom, you did good.

Apart from the demise of a friend there was a religious ceremony I was part of this week . Religion isn't particular important, or even a factor, in my life. I'm not an atheist, I just don't know really. I've met some people representing religion in my life who I thought were amazing, I've met others who... well, were really not. Kinda like the police!

Anyhow, it was important to some people I know... so I thought "What the Hell, what's the worse that could happen?" It wasn't until the ceremony came about that I realised how adverse I was to it. Oh, by the way it wasn't a wedding. Yes, that's right ladies... I'm still free to disappoint you.

The church was taking that angle of "We're cool, we know the world has changed, we aren't trying to force you to say anything or agree to anything you don't believe in". I talked to the head chap before the ceremony about the vows I had to go through and the words I had to say... my brain just came up with justifications to agree and go along with it.

The ceremony began in a quite confused fashion. Hymns were sung which people didn't really know and words were repeated from a prayer book in a monotonal fashion... but, I couldn't do it.

My brain had some time to process the words with the tiny moral man in my heart regarding my vows but these words about god... it didn't have the time to do it as it was here and now leaving the little moral man to sulk and sneer "No".

Surely that was ok though? The religious chap had even said at the beginning of the ceremony to the congregation that if you are of a different religion or didn't feel that the words were for you then there was no problem in saying them... well, it was like that at first.

After the first section of prays (with not much participation) he went back on it in such a weird 'English' way. Repeating his speel about not HAVING to participate he capped it off with something else instead. Reminding us all that we were invited there by our friends to be there on a very, very special day he then said that we COULD (again, he wasn't TELLING us) but we COULD say the pray words for them.

And it worked. I still couldn't go along with it but his approach definitely raised the level of participation. My uncomfortableness quickly turned to anger with acidic bile attempting to force it's way up my esophagus. I guess some church people will never get rid of it's most useful tool... guilt.

He tried it again later, using the picture of a dead woman who tragically died during childbirth (I'm not TELLING you to receive a blessing and light a candle but you COULD receive a blessing and light a candle for her) but I made it though it without vomiting. I said my vows, had some cake, and wished goodbye to everyone.

That passive / aggressive, guilt inducing approach he used... it makes me mad now still. I half wish we had just used some crazy, draconian cult leader to shout at us instead saying if we don't shut up and nod our heads in agreement we'll burn in Evil Narnia or worse. At least that would have been a bit more honest. In a weird way that is.

Like this guy, maybe.

_______________________

More Words added on the 9/6/11:


Ok, I'm not sure whether this is the wisest thing to do or not, but since it was my words on here which caused harm perhaps these following ones should be posted here as well.

What I expressed in the later part of this blog is not an expression of ridicule or negativity towards protestants, the faith or the people that were at the said ceremony. Infact everyone there was heart warming, including the person leading the congregation.

I was surprised at my own feelings during the ceremony in question, and the two elements I mentioned really made me question allot of things, not however the meaning of the ceremony. The fact though I "wished" for a draconian cult leader as well as posting a picture of Robert Mitchum's Harry Powell from Night of the Hunter (a fake preacher, con artist and murderer) would put across the fact I have no idea what I would have preferred instead.

Still, I realise my words have brought sadness to some people and difficulties for which I am truely sorry. What I write and draw is exaggerated, the line between making a point using half fiction and real life is one I walk with these words and images... and in this case I have well and truly tripped over that line. This incident has really made me consider that further, and that fact will stick with me the rest of my life.

This message will not undo any damage, but I still thought it best to write these words.

Summer Girls and The Friendly Revolution

Wine. Red wine. Free Red Wine. How can something be so glorious yet so devastating?

The sun is out, the pavement is too bright and that strange itch has begun to occur to obtain that fictional avatar of desire so accurately refereed to by Bernard Black as "The Summer Girlfriend".

In all honestly, I don't really care to be with anyone at the moment and I'm not at the point where desperation takes over and I start rubbing myself up against anything (animate or inanimate) that can take my weight but seeing all these smiling women walking around in polka dot dresses with flowers in their hair just makes me want to grab one, eat strawberries, skip through fields, have romantic polite kisses then "dump her in Autumn".... or perhaps the heat is just making me a bit horny.

Aside from misguided lust, the last couple of days have been quite fun and productive. A couple of gigs in the form of MC improv night Freestyle Fictionary and acoustic night SBH: Live have impressed me, a few more drawings done (will scan soon!) but the most poignant event was meeting the people at Open Space... which brings me back to the free red wine.

I was having a couple of pints with an experienced cartoonist and illustrator I know and asked whether he could have a look at my work for some feedback to which he ended up inviting me to what I thought was a drawing workshop / crit group.

But it wasn't.

I arrived at a studio with desks and computers with a table full of wine and nuts. It was a hot, humid day and I was wearing a jacket like a fool. Sweating and confussed, I stuck a name tag on my chest with the simple name "Dom" written on it.

Over the few hours I was there I quickly gleamed what the meeting was. It wasn't a crit group, it was a networking event hosted by the co-operative Open Space. In the past I have been very skeptical about hardcore networkers and networking social events... when I was more entrenched in the art world (and film for that matter) I saw alot of this with all it's lies, ego and blag.

However, this was different. There was so many people there from different backgrounds with different aspirations. From high end business consultants and biologists to political activists and illustrators, it was astounding. Each person quickly introduced themselves and without fuss pretty much laid out what type of people and resources they needed to continue a project as well as what they themselves could offer others.

By the end of the evening I was not only meeting people who could easily enrich the projects I'm involved in but also, with my own resources and contacts, I was doing the same for others. I just wish I had more time as there was so many people I wanted to talk to.

And here lies the difference, I believe, between the crass networking I have experienced in the past and what I experienced at Open Space. Not only did it cut through the 'social guff' and had people spell out straight away the score with themselves but also it wasn't selfish. People were there looking for help as well as offering help.

Things are changing bit by bit as they naturally do. Hardly anyone has just one 9 - 5 job, debts are now just another tax that you will never see the end of, with the internet and technology people choose their own entertainment and news and it seems to be getting more common place for even the most unlikely of businesses and people to have this co-operative approach (not everyone...). Perhaps I'm wrong, perhaps these factors are just within my circles or this area. However, if these are growing trends I will be very interested to see how everything develops over the next few years.

Ok, better get on with life as well as sort out stuff for my next Film Tube night. If there's any fans out there it's on Tuesday the 14th of June with the theme of 'Superheroes and Bastards'. Yes, I know... it sounds awesome.

Oh, and to all those summer girls, if you want to apply to be my Summer Girlfriend just follow this link "and await further instructions".